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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Love At First Sight, Does It Really Exist? Part 1

To begin my article, let me share to you a personal family story about how my grandparents met and married each other: It was one Saturday of May, 1968 when my grandparents attended a party. They exchanged their greetings to each other but there was no special about that moment although there was something inside them that tells them already that they were meant for each other. After that night, they were not able to see each other for the next 6 days but on the 7th day, they met each other again. They did not waste time and went to the church to get married. I was in awe when I heard about their story and I think you too, but can we really classify their roller coaster affair to be a ‘love at first sight’? Many would argue that yes, it is indeed love at first sight because of the fact that why is it that among all the people at the party, they were the ones who were able to establish internal connections with each other. Let me answer you by saying that love should not just be based on a particular moment in time. It could be that they’ve left each other an impression, something that made them admire each other, but I don’t think there was love already during that encounter.

True love is learned.
It is not something that you get overnight. Have you ever realized why many people would say that the true color of men only shows up once they are married? But if you’re still going to argue that there is really love at first sight, then maybe there is, but it is only superficial. It is there when you are still with each other but eventually wears off once you are already far away from each other. Do you know that arranged marriage according to research is even more successful than a love-based marriage? It is because of the fact that there is generally no impression, and so they’ll not get frustrated once one of them cannot attain their expectations from each other. Don’t you think that loving is much better if it comes from hard work. The excitement of loving is like earning your first pay check from your work. Although those things are two different things but the idea is, relationship that goes through thorns and calamities last longer because you’ll think about the hardships you’ve been through to get the love you’ve always wanted.

Love is a sacrifice you need to make.
True love is loving the person many times in his or her lifetime because as we all know; relationship of a wedded couple is always bombarded with so many problems. Love can also be considered to be as a series of happenings that strengthens the relationship. Those happenings are only instruments to make you realize once more that life is indeed imperfect. As my mother used to tell me, those things (e.g. husband cheating on their wife) are just part of those ingredients that spice up one’s relationship because without them, there’s nothing more to talk about in the long run. Opposite from my grandparents’ experience, my mother’s is different because it’s solely a story of ‘love is earned’ marriage.
I hope you learned something about this article. In the second part of this 2 part series, I will try tackle another situation but still in the same category. I will also try to  tackle about the criteria about true love and the signs that you are already learning to love a person.

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